Feb 14 | slcsux's Blog

Booooo, Valentines Day! I hate Valentines because its just another reminder of how I lost the love of my life.  2 Valentines ago he sent me a dozen red roses to my office for Valentines, took me to the Biltmore Estate and gave me a beautiful heart shaped diamond necklace. Now, he doesn't even talk to me. All because of my big mouth. That was the first and only Valentines day that I have ever received anything. It never really bothered me before him because I never expected anything or knew what it was like to celebrate Valentines. Now its just a painful reminder of what I will never have again. I hated watching other people get flowers, and candy and other things delivered to them at work today, while I felt like the biggest loser there. Jo made me a bowl at school for Valentines and a couple of my friends texted me Happy Valentines, but that was only after I texted them first.  It was a really sucky day. After work, things got a little better. I had to perform a solo from our upcoming show at the Y for a fundraiser for domestic violence. I had been worried about it all day long and had a horrible feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong. Luckily it didn't. We  performed in a gym and the audience was seated on the floor in a circle, so there wasn't' much room to dance, but I did the best I could. After my performance, I felt like I had done a horrible job and like it was absolutely terrible, but lots of people came up to me and told me it was beautiful and how much they loved it and thanked me for my performance. So I guess it was OK. I didn't like how people kept looking at me before I went on or even just walking into the bathroom or down the hall. I bet they were thinking how ugly i am. I cant help being ugly, so I wish people wouldn't look at me so hard all the time. I guess they just are not used to seeing someone that looks like me. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear from the face of the earth. I was just glad to go to bed and get another Valentines Day over with.